We’re told guilt is noble. That it’s proof of conscience, of love, of duty. But let’s call it what it often is: a parasite feeding off expectations that no longer serve us.
Especially in parenting
You raised your kids. Fed them. Fought for them. Sacrificed pieces of yourself to see them stand. But now? They’re grown. And the world keeps whispering that you’re still supposed to save them. Write the checks. Cushion the blows. Be the hero in their adulthood like you were in their childhood.
That’s a lie.
And the guilt you feel when you don’t step in? That’s the tax you’re paying for clinging to an outdated role—the fixer, the financier, the emotional ATM. But here’s the truth most don’t want to say out loud:
You don’t owe grown adults a rescue. You owe them respect.
Respect means letting them fall so they can learn to rise. It means watching them suffer through mistakes without swooping in to erase the consequences. It’s hard. Brutal, even. But it’s real love, not control disguised as compassion.
Therapy can help you see that clearly.
Not the kind that nods and says “that must be hard”—the kind that holds up the mirror and asks why you feel responsible for everyone’s survival but your own.
Therapy can help you untangle that ancient wiring: the guilt, the duty, the belief that your worth is tied to your usefulness. It can help you rewrite your role—and live it without apology.
Guilt wants to convince you that doing less makes you less. But guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It often means you’re doing something right… for the first time.
Let it burn off. Let it die with the version of you the world demanded you be.
You’re not a savior.
You’re not a wallet.
You’re a human being with your own path, your own boundaries, and your own freedom.
