There’s something soul-tiring about constantly wondering if you’re too much or not enough. The overthinking, the second-guessing, the rewriting of your own needs just to keep the peace—it’s a quiet kind of ache. And for many, it becomes a pattern: negotiating our worth for scraps of love.
But here’s the truth that can change everything:
You’ll never have to negotiate your way into a heart that wants you.
The relationships that are meant to hold you—the ones that are safe, steady, and true—don’t ask you to shrink. They don’t require emotional gymnastics or quiet compliance. They meet you with curiosity, not conditions. They want you, not a filtered version of you.
So Why Do We Settle for Less?
If you’ve ever found yourself working overtime to earn love, you’re not alone. Often, this pattern is rooted in early experiences where love was conditional—tied to achievement, obedience, or emotional caretaking. Over time, we internalize the message: “I have to earn love. I have to be someone else to be wanted.”
But that’s not love. That’s performance.
How Therapy Can Help
Healing these patterns isn’t about blaming the past—it’s about understanding it, honoring your story, and learning a new way to relate to yourself and others.
In therapy, you can:
– Explore your relationship patterns: Why you chase, why you settle, why you silence your needs
– Unpack the roots of people-pleasing or anxious attachment
– Reclaim your boundaries: What feels safe, what feels like compromise vs. self-betrayal
– Relearn your worth: That you are not “too much.” That your needs are not a burden
Therapy becomes a space where you don’t have to negotiate for care—it’s given. And from there, you learn to expect that in your relationships, too.
